When Daylon McCarty and her husband, Bill McCarty, arrived at Hermitage Richmond six years ago, the transition was not easy. Bill’s changing health needs meant they needed more support, and Daylon came because, as her family gently put it, he would not come without her. At first, she remembers feeling as if she had been “picked up and plopped down” into a place she did not yet know how to call home.
Over time, Daylon found what so many older adults and caregivers need but do not always know how to ask for: someone steady to listen, reflect, and help her see a way forward. Through counseling with JFS counselor Sydney Fleischer, Daylon has gained a trusted sounding board and a renewed sense of herself, not only as a wife, mother, and caregiver, but as a person whose own needs matter, too.
“Sydney is unique,” Daylon said, “but it’s also the fact that I have somebody on my side that knows what I’m going through.”
That kind of support has helped her challenge old patterns of thinking and respond to difficult moments with more compassion and confidence.
“One of the things that I really needed was to have the right perspective,” she shared. “I thought, well, I can’t do anything, but you can change it.”
For Daylon, counseling has also helped reframe what it means to a caregiver. After nearly 58 years of marriage, creating space for her own rest, independence, and interests did not come naturally. She worried it would be selfish to take time for herself. But with encouragement and practice, she began to see self-care differently; as the foundation that allows her to love and support Bill more fully.
“My sister used to tell me, ‘If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t care for anybody else,’” Daylon said. “I’m trying. I still have some work to do, but I’m getting there.”
One joyful part of that growth was the discovery of Daylon’s creativity. Since moving to Hermitage Richmond, she has found a love for nature, journaling, and art, she did not realize she had. Her artwork gives her a reason to get up, go somewhere, and express herself in a new way.
She also credits “Daphne,” an alter ego named by her daughter, with helping her pause and ask, “What would Daphne do?” In those moments, Daylon can stop, reset, and choose a braver response.
Her family sees the difference. Daylon and Bill have three daughters, seven grandchildren, and a first great-grandchild on the way. When Daylon tells her children she is meeting with Sydney, they are reassured, not only because she has support, but because they can see her continuing to grow.
“You’re always growing,” Daylon said. “You’re always changing.”
Daylon believes other older adults could benefit from the same kind of support. Counseling, she said, gives people “a good sounding board” on days when everything seems to be going wrong. It creates space to talk honestly, to feel less alone, and to remember that even in seasons of change, there are still choices to make, gifts to discover, and relationships to strengthen.
Today, Daylon’s story is one of resilience, humor, and hope. With support from JFS, she is learning to care for herself with the same devotion she has long offered to others. In doing so, she is finding freedom, renewed purpose, and the confidence to keep becoming the person she knows she can be.
For more information on JFS’ counseling services, please call our office at (804) 282-5644 or go to www.JFSRichmond.org.
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